Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
