You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
