If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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