Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
