Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
