You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
