I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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