do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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