This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We're too hungover to prance.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
