Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
