she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
