I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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