He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
