i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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