she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
