Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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