i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
