Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
