Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
