I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
