It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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