Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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