i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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