I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
