I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
