Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
