think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
