I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
