You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
