Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
