ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
