I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
