that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
