I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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