Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
