party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
