your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
