glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
