she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
