Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
