Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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