Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
