One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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