so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
