Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Too much gin, very little bucket
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
