The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
