god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
