you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
