3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
