I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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