I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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