i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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